An Impasse: The Bro Code

Our Mualeem called me when I visited the country last year saying there was an urgent something to discuss.

Your best friends are fighting. Won’t you talk to them both? He asked, after saying Salaam upon the Prophet.

I wasn’t aware that Khalid and Hammed were not on speaking terms. Both of them had come to visit me on different days, and although, they didn’t mention each other, there wasn’t any hint.

I promised to talk to them.

Later that night, I called Khalid, and I asked why he and Hammed were fighting. He pounced on the offense and said he doesn’t wish to talk about that backstabbing hypocrite.

What happened? I asked.

Nothing, just forget it. He said, keeping quiet for a while. Then he thundered: ” I know one thing though, I’m never talking to him ever again in my life.”

I called Hammed. And he explained:

“I did not wrong Khalid. Allah is my witness. Khalid is hot tempered and was doing something totally wrong and unacceptable. I spoke to him about it and encouraged him to follow the sunnah, and be the best husband, but he didn’t listen. About 8 months ago, I visited him because we had somewhere to go together. He came out of the door, clearly angry, and I asked what was going on to which he didn’t reply. But I could hear Idaayah crying from the outside.

Reflexively, I asked, “Are you alright?” I know I shouldn’t have. It’s his house. But Idaayah is above all a Muslim sister and I was concerned. She said no, and I went inside, and she had puffy eyes. It seemed she’d been crying for long.

A week later Idaayah called me and asked that I talk to my friend. Khalid was maltreating her. He’s verbally abusive and emotionally absent.

I spoke with Khalid, but he said it’s none of my business. So I kept quiet. But a week later, it was Khalid’s mother who called me and asked me to talk to him. At this point, I didn’t know what to do. Khalid won’t listen to me. Next, it was Idaayah’s mom who called and begged me to talk to Khalid.

The pressure was a lot on me. So on a Friday evening, Idaayah texted me that she’s fed up. She says maybe she deserves it. Or perhaps it was because she wasn’t a good woman that she’s been punished with a husband like Khalid.

Remember I said I was under a lot of pressure. I told her she’s an amazing woman any God-fearing brother would be lucky to have. And that I really don’t know how to get Khalid to see such a beautiful soul God has given her as a wife.”

I told Hammed he did nothing wrong.”You’re looking out for Khalid. He’s stupid for not wanting to talk to you again.”

“Let me finish.” Hameed cautioned. “You know I told you that I just remarried three months ago before you said you were coming home?”

“Yes?”

“Well, Idaayah after years of frustration asked for divorce from Khalid. W’Allahi I had nothing to do with it. I didn’t even know they’d divorced. You have to believe me. I didn’t tell her to divorce. You believe me right?”

“Of course. Why won’t I?”

“Well, after her Iddah. Idaayah called me and said she was going back to Ilorin to stay with her parents. That’s when she told me she was divorced. Well, we stayed in contact, and you know she’s a wonderful woman. She’s amazing. And you know good women are not easy to find. So, I prayed Istikhara about it, and proposed to her. She accepted. We married and she came back to Ibadan.”

I couldn’t find something to say.

“Friend, you’re not saying anything?” Hammed said. “Idaayah is a very good woman. I couldn’t just close my eyes to that. I didn’t do anything wrong.”


Irú response wo ni kí Baba oni Story fún Hammed bayi ó. 🤷🏿‍♂️

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