The Muslim woman has fared far better than the Muslims altogether. She has become strong, and with a tinge of oxymoron, also really, really vulnerable. Being the first area of questioning by non Muslims has made us critical of our stand with the girl child. So she has become successful in her education and career wise, she’s on purpose. But on the other hand, the Muslim woman has being shortchanged both internally and externally. Internally, she’s been made to be a super human, even though she might just want to be a human most of the times. She’s now required to be strong, soft, tall, and short. Now she has to be something outside, and another inside. And all these while boys are forgotten, thus extra burden on the Muslim woman. The Muslim woman needs to look no where but within herself and Qur’an and reject the extra baggage from either the Muslims or the outside sympathizers.

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The only language our brothers understand is that of ‘evidence’ from the Qur’an or Sunnah. Gimba Kakanda and others have been trying so furtively to get a simple message across ‘that how another Muslim dresses is not your concern’ especially when he or she’s not making a representative statement of you and your group, but it seems all the posts only increase the resolve of our brothers. So let’s speak the language we all understand. Let’s examine the Qur’an and Sunnah for this.

First, this public bashing of the woman’s choice is being done under the pretense of advice. Abi, who can say it is haram to advice someone? But the question is how exactly is your advice getting to her? Or let’s put it this way: take the mask of social media off, and let’s say you are in a conference, and she just finished a talk, can you walk up to her and say it to her face straight away that she’s not conforming to the dressing code of Islam? Of course, not. Unless you’re significantly lacking in adab. So what’s with all these we’re advising her.

Now the Qur’an clearly outlines that a person will bear only his or her own burdens, not others. And numerous times in the Qur’an, Allah told Prophet Muhammad and by extension all Muslims that they’re not a wakeel (watch over person) over others, and that they should be concerned primarily with their own soul and their household.

Baseline, you better not come and comment on my wife’s abaya. Mind your own damn business and stop embarrassing us up and down.

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One of the major fallacies of western feminism is its ironic placement of men as the standard. To truly be free and equal, everything men do must be done by women. Men, whose patriarchal and misogynist worldview, it seeks to dismantle is at the same time the yardstick for success. So it doesn’t matter what that thing is, is it somehow dominated by men? We must also do it regardless. Like killing people who didn’t offend you, or being in charge of a system of massive exploitation.

Naturally, I’m unmoved by western feminism. Is it my feminism?

However, what troubles me is the African, no, Nigerian, actually no, Yoruba man or woman who looks up to this fallacy of an ideology in his or hope of reforming our society. They hail as progressive the concept of a woman being a career oriented person or doing business with zeal and sense as though this is novel to our culture.

My grandmother is a great business woman. In her sango òde years, she had a big store in Yamousokoro, Ivory Coast, and her business was so booming that she used to fly to Nigeria to buy things, cargo them, and fly back to Ivory Coast. Her own mother owned a large farm in Ejigbo. Our women have been prosperous long before western feminism became a thing. Study your history and stop embarrassing us. Ẹ̀gbá women led by Mrs. Funmilayo Kuti dethroned a monarch. Your western feminists were still in their rooms then.

Grow some guts for everyone’s sake. Western feminism will create problems that will surpass its ability to handle.