I have a routine of telling my children bedtime stories as I tuck them in at night. But for the past few weeks, as I became consumed with several obligations from work, studies, and other areas of life, the routine got broken, and I’ll just tell them to say their adhkar before sleeping.

Two nights ago, my son asked out of the blue that I tell him a story. I obliged, reluctantly. But he loved the story. I could see the excitement in his eyes, his comments, and his additions to the story I made up right there and then.

I got home late this night, exhausted from workstreams, studies and flu-like symptoms. I sushed him to bed, but he found a way back downstairs, asking for a story. His mom and I told him to go back. No story tonight. I however quickly vacuumed and helped tidy up a bit and went back to him. His siblings followed me. I told them a story. Made up. You know, as in, Bàbá oni Story. About the kindness of a girl, and the valor of her brother. They saw themselves in the characters. The story was captivating. They were so happy. Alhamdulillah.

As I went back downstairs, I thought to myself: children won’t remember that you were working hard. The memories they’ll have is of absence. And what is life other than a place of memories? What do we really leave people with when we’re gone or, in this case, when they’ve grown-up and become independent? It is those memories of love, laughter and warmth that tickle and massage the heart later on in life.

The other day I told my sister how I’d love to spend winter break in Nigeria with my grandma, and she commented, you and your grandma. Why am I so attached to her?

It’s because of the beautiful memories she afforded me when I was little. May Allah preserve her.

Back to me and my children, back to you and your children, back to you and your family. Be available. Excuses can always be found. Yes, you’re busy. We make time for what matters. You should be more than the breadwinner. You are more than your wallet. You should provide care and warmth now because before you know it they’re teenagers and trying to catch up then won’t be the same. Fatherhood is a huge trust and you must step up.

وَوَالِدٖ وَمَا وَلَدَ

and by the father and all those he begot,

-Surah Al-Balad, Ayah 3