The other day, I was with a friend, a brother who’s doing excellent in his career, and also trying his best in his Deen. His wife served us some tigernut milk and chin-chin and soon as she left the backyard and we were alone, my friend told me his recent trip to Nigeria was the most emotionally draining ever.

I took a sip of the tigernut and asked, “How so? What happened?”

When I was in Nigeria, he began, I thought I’d visit this, you know this old woman and her daughter I once told you about.

I interjected. “You mean the young lady you said was your employee before you left Nigeria whose father died, and whom you sent financial support often to and her mother, and practically put through the university?”

Yes. You know, I was in Ibadan in my parent’s area. So, I paid her a visit, alongside a friend of mine. It was impromptu. I only gave her like an hour’s notice. But if you saw how much she prepared in terms of food and hospitality? You’d think it was something else.

“Ehn, ehn.” I commented.

And the most surprising thing that day was seeing the girl. Friend, she has completely changed. She’s grown. And she has become so beautiful. Subhanallah. I had to tap myself to not stare. I had been following her writings on Facebook over the years and I knew she was very intelligent and skilled at writing, but I didn’t know she had grown so beautiful as well. She was the one who served my friend and I. We talked a bit, but overall she was extremely shy. If you were there and did not know anything, you would think we were there for an introduction. That was the vibe I was getting. There was a moment we locked gaze, she and I, ọ̀rẹ́ I cannot lie to you, I could swear the feeling I was developing that instant was mutual. You know, we both had that faint smile.

“So, what happened next? What did you do?”

Well, when I got home that evening, I thought a lot about her. In fact, I prayed istikharah. After a week of back and forth with myself, it became solid in my chest that I should propose to her.

“Didn’t you think people would say all the helps you were doing was just a rouse to deep your hands in the cookie jar later on?”

People will always talk, my brother. I was not worried about that. I swear I didn’t have any ulterior motives. She was a brilliant girl and a good employee before I left Nigeria. Her mother reached out to me to help and I just did what my faith encourages me to do. And believe me, I had no idea.

Anyways, I was already set on proposing to her. In fact I had started to set aside funds for GRE, and began looking up schools she can apply to over here, and stuff. But then, you remember the friend we went to their house with? He is the new Imam of the masjid of our old neighborhood. One day after asr, I was in his masjid when a young man, about 23 years old from the looks of it, started a lecture. I was impressed by his eloquence and how he approached the Deen. His style was exceptionally different from the polemics of alfas in the southwest.

When I asked about him, my friend, the Imam, spoke highly of him. He told me the young man studied psychology in school and presently teaches at a secondary school. He’s also running a counseling program of some sort where he helps youths who are struggling with all kinds of addiction, gambling, drugs, and the likes. And he helps him teach children Arabic and Qur’an for free. I was even more impressed.

Then he told me that the young man confides in him and that he has been struggling with getting a good sister to marry. His proposals are quickly rejected by sisters who say though they admire his intellect and character, they’d be marrying low if they marry him because he wasn’t making much as a teacher.

I told the Imam that such a young man, Taofeek, I learnt his name, should be supported. And that was when the Imam remembered, and said to my surprise:

“You know the girl we went to their house last week? Taofeek asked me what I thought about her and that she was thinking of proposing to her…

As soon as the Imam said those words, my heart started pounding and a piercing headache came from nowhere.

Qasim, I called the Imam by his name, I came to tell you that I intend to marry that girl! I want to marry her!

Ehn, subhanallah. He replied gently. Ehn, no problem then. Since Taofeek hasn’t proposed yet, much less the girl accepting or not. You’re within your right to propose to her. In Sha Allah.

But it won’t feel right. I said to myself more than to him.

Why won’t it be right? He asked.

With all you have said about this boy, Taofeek. He seems like a great young man. He reminds me of myself in his empathetic approach to da’wah. You know if not for money in data science, I would still be in the field of psychology, doing the talking cure, therapy and counseling. I see myself in him.

Yes, that’s all good. But you’re within your rights to propose to her as God puts her affection in your heart for a reason. The Imam insisted.

I thought about it for a few more days.

---

“So, what did you do? Have you gotten mathnah in Nigeria and you’re just telling me? Does Iya kinni know already?”

Slow your rolls. My friend, stepping down three pieces of chin-chin with tigernut milk, calmed me down.

I can’t lie to you, Baba oni Story. I was attracted to the girl. I mean, I can see a lifetime with her easily. It tugs me in the heart. But I figured Taofeek is more in need. So, despite the fact that I also felt like I need the young lady in my life, I thought it was better to support Taofeek. I gave the money I set aside to finance her traveling had I went ahead with her to Taofeek. Me and the Imam assessed what he may need to get his counseling business going, and we funded it. We helped him propose, and using my goodwill with the girl’s family, it was easy to convince them Taofeek was a good guy.

“Wow!” I exclaimed. “That was a lot for me to digest. Just wow.”

I looked at him and wondered if I would have done what he did, especially when it wasn’t obligatory for him or something. So I asked him: “What made you do that? Gave preference to Taofeek’s feelings over yours?

He sighed. Looked up to the sky and recited Surah Al-Ḥashr: 9:

وَيُؤۡثِرُونَ عَلَىٰٓ أَنفُسِهِمۡ وَلَوۡ كَانَ بِهِمۡ خَصَاصَةٞۚ وَمَن يُوقَ شُحَّ نَفۡسِهِۦ فَأُوْلَٰٓئِكَ هُمُ ٱلۡمُفۡلِحُونَ }

…They give preference to others over themselves, even though they too are in need: those who are saved from the selfishness of their own souls are the truly successful ones.

Baba oni Story, he furthered, aren’t we supposed to love for others what we love for ourselves? I already have a wife, and I love the joy that comes with that. I want that for him, too. Now if I didn’t know he was interested in her, or if he was deficient in character, that’s a completely different story. But if I was in his situation, I would want someone to do that for me. I like the girl, yes. And I believe Taofeek will make an excellent husband. So I don’t get her, big deal. But does he get her and treats her well? Is she happy with him? If yes, and in shaa Allah, it will be, then I’m happy.

She is a subject of my love, not an object. So, as long as she’s good, they’re good, I’m good.

Then End lópin cinema. 🤷🏿‍♂️ Thank you for reading. Yes, fiction ni ó.